What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops