Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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