Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Kys

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops