My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops