Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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