what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops