Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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I love you

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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YOOO MOMMA LIKE A BIG MAC FAT JUICE AND ONLY WORTH A BUCK!!!!

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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