A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Chlamydia

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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