What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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