Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -12

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

ask me if i am a tree. no.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The Ohio State Buckeyes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

thumb_up thumb_down -12

the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops