A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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Where was Susy after the bombing? Everywhere.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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