Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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Antijokes...

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Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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did you stub your toe?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops