A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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Caramel Boing.

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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wanna here a joke? you.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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