Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Jeff

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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