do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops