A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What fires shots? A gun

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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that wall over there ->

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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yo mama so fat she had to eat healthy food and exercise daily

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YOU

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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