Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Women's rights.

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Cheese

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops