whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -23

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops