Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb??? I don't know don't ask me when I'm asking you the question!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops