When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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If at first you dont succeed..... your not chuck norriss

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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my wife out of the kitchen

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Justin Bieber

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops