A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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