A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

What do you call a man with a diploma? A high school graduate.

if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

They see me trollin' They hatin'...

"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

Why couldn't the little kid get to sleep? His dog was on fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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