Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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A house comes around the corner.

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops