Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

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antijoke is the best website.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops