My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

David: Hey Bill. Do you know what the most common place for a Democrat to work is? Bill: No. David: An insane Asylum, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a black person to work is? Bill: No. David: A prison, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a 20th centrury undercover German Jew to work is? Bill: No. David: A morge, so they can be with their friends and family. David: Do you know what the most common place for a Scientologist to work is? Bill: No. David: With Democrats. (Writen by Ben, avid Anti-Scienctologist)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How old are you? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops