How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops