A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the redneck say when he ran out of beer? A: I need more beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops