I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops