Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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Diana and victoria

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Two Jews walk in a bar...

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops