Ruller

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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Women's Rights...

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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women's rights

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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