why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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Aaron Cummings is me. Find me on facebook:)

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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The economy.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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