Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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Five guys one rape.

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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On the fifth day of Christmas my true love brought to me Nothing, because we only celebrate one day of Christmas

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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A- Knock knock! B- Come in! A- ...

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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