I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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Diana and victoria

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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99% of guys are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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