Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +74

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

69

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

theres a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops