What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13.

What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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