A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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