What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Diana and victoria

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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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69.... is a number

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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