why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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The joke below me is retarded

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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Your mother is so fat.

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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