knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Why did the white supremacist stab the black man? He believed his race to be superior to that of the black man, thus he resorted to violence in order to display his supremacy.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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pedophile

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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Why? Because racecar.

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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