Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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