Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Diana and victoria

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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what's white, sticky, and very fluffy? which can be sweet or bitter, depending on what the person ate. THATS RIGHT. it's CUM. :D

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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what happened to the boy who asked for a hit from the bong? he got punched in the face.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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what do u call a black person a black person dehh

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what happens when you wake up inception

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What's worse than finding jokes that repeat on Anti-Joke.com? AIDS

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Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

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Yo Mamma

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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