Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My cousins so stupid she makes straight A's

thumb_up thumb_down +2

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops