how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down +25

2+2= 478

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A fairly-priced Apple computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yah? Well your a ********

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops