I like turtoes.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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What's the difference between a duck? I'm sorry, I was typing too quickly and missed off the end of my sentence. I meant to say "What's the difference between a duck and a goose?" and the answer is that they are entirely different species of waterfowl.

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops