What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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A black man without problems.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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theres a fat guy

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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The joke below me is retarded

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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69.... is a number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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