How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

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9/11.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Politics.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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The joke below me is retarded

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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