What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What did mike Tyson say to the midget? ''Hello'' He's actually a relatively nice man.

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did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops