1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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