what happens when you wake up inception

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Yo Mamma

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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