Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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Asian NASCAR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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