Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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The AIDS patient was gay

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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clamidia

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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3 strangers were locked in a dark room they turned the light on, unlocked the door and proceeded with their day.

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops