a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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Your mom.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan.

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

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what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Why did Madelyn leave the space next ot the computer? Because her hat got tooken from her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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