A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Roses are red Violets are blue TEST: Are roses red?

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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