Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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american idol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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