What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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How did the dog die? He was put down.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Sex

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops